White men are boring

Is Love Racist?

White people now even feel guilty if they have never had a black partner. And deny that attraction also depends on skin color.

Are you a racist if black women don't belong in the prey scheme? I recently discussed this question with a couple of friends. He is white, Swiss. She is black, her parents are from Ivory Coast. The answer we agreed on in the course of the evening: No - at most you are an ignoramus.

But one can also come to a different conclusion. I remember an article in a German newspaper in which a young white author asked himself critically: Why has he never had a black girlfriend or a girlfriend who wore a headscarf? Subconsciously, racist thought patterns had to be effective! The hint that the large majority in Germany is white would hardly have freed him from his torturous self-questioning.

The extent to which women and men behave in a racist manner when choosing a partner was also wanted three years ago by the British television show "Is Love Racist?" knowledge. Among the candidates were Asians, blacks and whites. In fact, some chose a potential partner Notbecause they liked light eyes better or because they found a wide nose unattractive. For the sociologist on the show it was clear: Those who argue like that clearly prefer whites.

Attracted to the exotic and stranger

But that still does not say whether such a preference is racially motivated. Many people, white and black alike, find someone attractive depending on their ethnicity. My friend, an academic, privileged, has so far almost exclusively been with black women or women with a migration background. Does it discriminate against me as a white Swiss woman? What. He likes the nature of us pale, women simply do not breastfeed as well.

It doesn't make sense to me why someone should feel guilty about wanting the white fellow student and not the black person sitting next to them at the university. And the theory that whites would confirm and maintain power relationships by choosing a white partner is far-fetched. The choice of a partner is only racist if a white person categorically excludes possible black partners from his or her interest, since he considers whites to be superior. Only then does he devalue other ethnic groups with his dating habits.

Of course there are these stupid prejudices. Surveys from dating portals confirm them. Some white users openly admit that they would never date dark-skinned people or Asians. Then swipe left on Tinder. Blacks tend to have less trouble imagining a white partner. For some blacks, the black-and-white pairing would be just as out of the question.

The familiar gives security

Because it's like this: you fall in love with people with whom you share a lot. People have similar interests, are similarly educated, have the same socialization and origin. You feel comfortable and secure with someone with whose life there are many points of contact. This longing for the familiar can be either good or wrong. You can call it boring, the unwillingness to get involved with the foreign is ignorant. But it can at least be explained psychologically.

In addition, you can often not explain your preferences properly: why it is she or him. Which is why you notice the dark-haired people on the street while your gaze goes over the blondes. What exactly is it that he is "my type" and the other misses him.

In any case, a monotonous loot scheme does not yet require an entry under the hashtag #KritischesWeisssein. With the hashtag campaign, the German journalist Malcolm Ohanwe calls on white people to take a critical look at their whiteness. You could accuse yourself of never having shared a table and bed with a Mongol or a Creole - as if you met them every day.

Love doesn't happen out of correct intentions. Desire has no right attitude.