Is it possible to exchange love

10 ways to deepen the relationship

Many relationships are unsatisfactory because they stay too superficial. These 10 ways can take your partnership to the next level - and strengthen your connection.

1. Let go of the other

It sounds like a contradiction at first, but it strengthens love: Let go of your partner. When two couples hold on to each other and cling, the fear of being alone is more behind it than real affection for the other. If two partners trust each other so strongly that it is possible that they can go on vacation alone, for example, without causing a drama to break out, you have both gained a lot for a long-term future.

2. Always give preference to the treasure

Perhaps you were single for a long time prior to your current relationship and can attest that your friends have occupied a large part of your life during this time. If you fell in love a while ago, your friends may find it difficult that you suddenly have less time with them. That is normal.

This is how the stages of life change:

The more serious the relationship with your partner has become, the more you should give him / her priority.

 
It is a question of will: Anyone who already has a family together or is planning to start one with their partner must be aware that this will shift values. Sometimes you have to cancel a friend's birthday party because you haven't been able to spend quality time with the other for a long time due to work.

3. Cultivate the relationship

And that brings us to one of the most important points: A relationship doesn't grow by itself - it needs care. Just like a young plant that you wish to grow and thrive. But a relationship wants not just sporadically cared for, but as often as possible. That is why it is important not just to spend time together on a regular basis, but to spend time together consciously.

4. Open yourself to the other

At the beginning, when you don't know each other very well, you like to show your best side and also see the other from a soft focus perspective. Every time you meet, you put on your best outfit and spend an hour in the bathroom making yourself look nice for the other person. Or you just tell things about yourself that confirm the picture you want to show the other person about yourself.

At the beginning - as I said - this is a matter of course and serves to impress the other.

But as the relationship develops, there comes a point where you should open up to the other.

 
This is the only way to get to know each other for who you really are.

Some partners don't take this step even after years. But it is just the case that every person has the deeply rooted desire to be loved for their own sake and not for what they represent or pretend to be. So, if you think he / she is right for you, show your vulnerable side too. Your partner will understand and it will motivate them to do the same with you.

 
If a relationship is to last, it is also essential to polarize. If one of them always says yes and amen to everything, it is very likely that the other will get bored at some point. And: It cannot be fulfilling in the long run because your own wishes and needs fall by the wayside somewhere.

5. Tell the truth to one another

This also includes refraining from untruths and smaller and larger (“emergency”) lies. You have no business in a mature partnership. Whoever tells the other the truth is not afraid of a confrontation. And that is sometimes necessary in order to develop the relationship together.

6. Set common goals

Connect and motivate common goals. A first common goal can be a vacation for two that you plan together. Then comes the shared apartment that they both furnish together. Often a common family and / or even a professional project follows.

In order to be able to develop common goals, however, it is important to that both partners have similar values.

 
After all, who is the use of when one person has five children, while the other remains independent and wants to sail the oceans every minute of his or her free time?

7. Exchange honestly

Regular communication is the only way to find out. The emphasis is on regularly - because it can happen that values ​​and priorities change for one person, but not for another.

Anyone who constantly talks to the other about what everyone wants from this partnership and from life has the best chance of finding common denominators in many areas.

8. Share material things

The idea of ​​sharing material things scares many partners. For this reason, even after many years of relationship, there is no marriage at all or every bill for the household is strictly sorted and divided.

It is not for nothing that it makes sense to reflect on one's attitude towards money in the context of a relationship. What does money mean for me personally? To what extent does it give me security, to what extent does it scare me? What meaning of money was taught to me as a child? Was it always in abundance or a scarce resource to fight for?

Anyone who wants to take the next step together in a relationship needs a common financial concept. This can mean relief in some ways - for example, by sharing the cost of living together - in others it can also mean cutting back. For example, if you are planning children and one of the two partners stays at home or cares more about the children than the other.

9. Offer help and get help

Our society today has a selfish to narcissistic tendency. In addition, deep relationships are a beneficial antipole. Offering help and being helped by others are a good way to strengthen trust and love in one another.

10. Don't give up on the other so easily

What do you think - how many couples would not have broken up if you had given each other more opportunities and fought for the relationship. Instead, you may be sitting in front of the TV with another partner and bored as you were before. The balance: The partner is different, but the problems have remained the same.

So a separation very often does not solve the issue. So it pays not to write off the other person or the relationship too quickly. Because in the end, crises mastered together only made a couple stronger. Those who fight problems with each other get to know the other better in the end and get closer to them. And that's what love is about.


 

Photo credit: iStock.com/demaerre