Should I set limits in my relationship
Partnership: Why men need limits
It's similar to children: if they don't know any limits, they dance on their parents' nose. The same goes for men: if you let them walk too much on a long leash, it damages the relationship. Admittedly: The distribution of roles in the partnership is different from that between the legal guardian and the pupil. Nevertheless, clear announcements are also necessary here.
It is important for a man to know his limits. However, these are not unilateral rules dictated by the woman. Rather, the borders must be negotiated together and decided by mutual agreement. Because if both sides are not feeling well, tensions result and the relationship quickly gets into trouble.
Setting boundaries helps avoid conflicts
What the defined limits look like in practice varies from person to person. For example, many couples agree on fixed rules when it comes to flirting with the opposite sex. It also makes sense to lay down rules for dealing with common money. If men have time-consuming hobbies or spend a lot of time with their friends, it should be made clear that there is still enough room for the partnership. Such an arrangement saves later discussion and trouble. The advantage is obvious: both partners know where they stand and how far they can go.
Clear words save disappointment
The fact that the so-called "stronger sex" needs clear messages is due to the fact that men and women communicate differently. They speak different languages. Women like to speak through the flower, while men need clear words. They find it difficult to read between the lines or to understand hints. Therefore, women should always say what they want as directly as possible.
Too much tolerance hides insecurity
However, many women are reluctant to tell their partner specifically what their ideas are and where their pain threshold lies. They tend to eat the anger in themselves rather than state clearly what is feasible for them. Outwardly, however, they are tolerant and give the partner a lot of freedom. This behavior, behind which often hides insecurity and conflict avoidance, can be stressful for the relationship in the long run. Also, swallowing toad after toad is detrimental to self-esteem.
Men do not allow themselves to be "reeducated"
Setting boundaries for your partner does not mean bending them into shape. Unilateral educational measures are doomed to failure from the outset. It is better to give the man clear instructions, to remind him of the limits that have been set together and to support him in his developmental steps.
Define the length of the line together
There is no question that some types of men generally need a "shorter leash" than others. The key question, however, is: is the man happy with the short leash? And does the woman want an unhappy man by her side? It is therefore better to determine the length of the line together. That means: The couple should define together how much leeway they allow each other and which compromises they are willing to make.
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