How do cuddly boys behave

The small difference - boys and girls in their development

Every child is an individual and develops according to its own inner plan. And yet there is a certain standardization, a framework in which the growth of children takes place and in which their mental and character traits develop. This also applies to the development of gender-specific traits. Visible signs are, on the one hand, differences in physical and mental development, and, on the other hand, the different play behavior that boys and girls develop in a gender-specific manner.

Gender specific development

0-3 years

In principle, girls are more mature at birth than boys. The bone structure and brain are better developed, and overall they are more resilient. As a result, girls are less prone to illness than boys. Malnutrition or malnutrition affects boys more than girls, both physically and mentally. In terms of play behavior and the preference for certain toys, the sexes hardly differ at this age. Boys are usually more physically active and generally more restless. At around two years of age, the awareness that there are two genders develops. However, the children do not yet see their own gender in this context, as they are still in the process of developing their own self-awareness.

4 - 5 years

By the age of four, boys' testosterone levels double. As a result, "boy-typical" characteristics develop quite suddenly. The boys become more physically active, compete with other boys, they become "rebellious" and usually show a significantly increased potential for aggression. Interest in fine motor or cognitive games is rather low. At five, this condition usually calms down as the testosterone level drops again. Girls often develop an interest in dolls and role play at this age. They want to play father, mother, child and imitate real life in the game. Role-playing games for boys, on the other hand, are more about Indians and cowboy games or scenes from (usually action-packed) children's films. The toys now often differ significantly. While boys play with cars, excavators or knight castles, girls prefer dolls, soft toys, but also puzzles such as puzzles. To what extent this is due to the genetics or the supply or external influences can hardly be said clearly.

6 - 8 years

The children develop more and more their gender identity. Due to the role model in school and family, boys and girls now identify more and more with their gender role and sometimes develop stereotypes and firmly established opinions as a result of imitation. At this age, however, development-specific differences play only a minor role in further development; the individual characteristics of the children are more pronounced.

From 9 years

Puberty begins and everything changes with it. Hormone production begins and boys and girls alike are preoccupied with becoming men or women, both physically and mentally. However, this time is usually particularly exciting for girls - and their parents too - because they go through greater hormonal and also far-reaching physical changes than boys.

Gender-flexible instead of gender-specific

Gender roles have always been passed down through the generations. The role model of the parents and the upbringing shape the children significantly. It is interesting that children are mainly raised by women, both within the family and in kindergarten. This often makes it difficult, especially for boys, to find their way into their gender role, since women cannot convey an identity, but only stereotypes that they have learned through experience. As a father, you have the task of being a role model for your son, conveying "masculine" values ​​and world views to him. This gives him the opportunity to clearly differentiate himself from his mother or sister and to develop a male identity. In kindergartens today, children are raised in a gender-flexible manner. This means that boys can play with dolls just as unregulated as girls with excavators. However, this method is only promising if the treatment of the children is not subject to gender stereotypes again: Girls are encouraged to behave politely and cautiously, while boys are encouraged to run around and be active.


There are clearly differences between girls and boys, but the severity varies from person to person and is by no means solely dependent on genetics. In general, it can be said that boys are more actionist than girls - girls prefer to think more often, sometimes until they prefer to remain passive. This is often reflected in the fact that boys are more expansive and venture out into the world earlier and further than girls. Male babies cry significantly more often and, above all, louder than female babies. Girls are cuddly overall - maybe because they were taught to? In social behavior, the differences are often shown in the willingness to compromise. While boys quickly become physical, girls tend to try to mediate, to mediate, they are more caring and in need of harmony.

All in all, it can be said: there is one, the small difference. How much of it is genetics and how much is learned is different for every child and remains a secret for researchers and psychologists for the time being. For us as parents, it is important to understand that a gender must not be an insurmountable limit and that boys can sometimes be cuddly and girls sometimes wild.

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