Happiness is based only on attitude

Is there a recipe for happiness? What makes you happy and what doesn't?

What makes you happy and what doesn't?


What influence do we have on happiness and happiness? What can we do to make the longed-for happiness flow?










Your ears can ring: "Happy, happy, happy" is a regular trumpet from the loudspeakers and the internet is filled with countless happy videos. Whether pop music, tabloid television, psychology or philosophy; the subject of happiness comes up again and again.

A glass of Nutella and the child shines in competition with the sun. Life can be easy. True wealth does not consist in possession, but in enjoyment, said Ralph Waldo Emerson. He must know. So I make myself a particularly delicious café latte and think about what I can think of on the subject of happiness.




Is there a recipe for happiness?


Again and again I am asked to say or write something about happiness.

Who would have guessed:

All people want to be happy.



Yes, what else is there to say about happiness that hasn't already been said? And why has the topic been so popular lately?

Until the end of the 1990s, the topic of success and financial prosperity was right at the top of the hit list of desired topics ﹣ And now happiness? Perhaps it has something to do with a desire to focus less on the problems and more on possible solutions. That's what happiness researchers like Martin Seligmann Demand (positive psychology).

Since high-tech has allowed deeper insights into the ongoing operation of the brain and the genetic make-up, psychological experts are hardly in demand as discussion partners on the subject. Imaging methods such as MRT, CT, etc. suggest advances in the field of happiness research.
Happiness? A lot of this is genetically predisposed to be read in the specialist literature.

The good news; a large part of the feeling of happiness can be trained! Only a small proportion is based on external circumstances. Isn't that good news?

It is true; focusing on happiness is very rewarding and a very individual matter. Although it has something of the owls that are carried to Athens, it still remains up-to-date.




What is it anyway, this feeling of happiness?


As great as the longing is, the realization is hesitant. Everyone has their own idea of ​​what happiness looks and feels like. Even if there are some elements that are mentioned very often, their characteristics are very different. Health, career, partnership, family and children, vacation, ... are mentioned particularly frequently.

Happiness does not reside in one's possession and not in gold, the feeling of happiness is at home in the soul.



For a real feeling of happiness, fulfillment in all personally relevant areas is important. Happiness cannot be forced, but we can prepare a path, a way for it.

In order for preparation to meet opportunity, there are a few important questions to answer. Goals give life a content worth striving for. They make it possible to plan life paths and to organize your own life. A meaningful life provides more depth, awareness and satisfaction, while a life without goals in life is perceived much more often as meaningless and unfulfilled. Whereby unattainable goals with a tense posture also promote the opposite.

Feelings of happiness are subject to fluctuations. Even the most intense peaks of happiness don't last forever. Winning the lottery does not necessarily make you happy in the long run. For a short time, the feeling of happiness skyrockets to unimagined heights, only to find its way back to the usual level.

The phenomenon is called adaptation. We get used to stimuli and no longer perceive them with the same intensity. Humans are creatures of habits.

Humans have the excellent ability to adapt flexibly to changing environmental conditions through adaptation. This also applies to states of mind. We learn to live with negative events. Time heals many a wound.

Nice and good; where there is light, there is also shadow. Unfortunately, this also applies to positive experiences. Sooner or later we also get used to beautiful experiences. For example, studies show; wealthy people are no happier than average. Sixth in the lottery? The joy of the lottery winners is also not permanent.




Habit vs. Happiness


Persistent happiness is boredom.

Oswald Spengler


Unfortunately, we often only notice the personal meaning that something has for us when we lose it. Happiness is like glasses; you have it on your nose and don't know. Mindfulness must be cultivated in order to appreciate the value, the personal meaning. Because it is precisely the many small everyday rituals that add up to feelings of happiness.

Happiness often arises from paying attention to small things, unhappiness often from neglecting small things.

Wilhelm Busch




Is it all just chemistry?


Less romantic; Neurologically, happiness is based on complex processes that our brain controls with the help of mainly four messenger substances.

The messenger substances dopamine play a key role in building feelings of happiness; it plays the main role in connection with norepinephrine, serotonin and endorphins and changes us mentally the most.

Is it all just chemistry? Are we all just junkies, driven by the replenishment of happiness hormones?
Yes and no! It's only half the story. Because this finding does not yet answer what influences the chemistry in the body. What can we do to get the fruitful juices flowing?




In search of the source of happiness


It is difficult to find happiness in us and it is quite impossible to find it anywhere else.

Nicolas Chamfort


People who think they are unlucky encourage self-fulfilling prophecies with their tunnel vision. Selective perception works in all directions. The lucky ones tend to prefer to see the positives.

For the perceived happiness, the personal point of view is very important. An optimistic and constructive attitude is not only healthier, but also has a very positive effect on the way you live.

The lucky ones are curious.

Friedrich Nietzsche


Since a curious attitude has an effect on personal perception, the possibilities are better recognized in a state of happiness. This makes them easier to use than if someone were constantly focusing on the difficulties.

The resulting positive charisma also has an impact on the environment; Satisfied people have more personal and professional success more easily. With a positive charisma, we appear more sympathetic to our fellow human beings at first glance. Body language conveys it automatically. It makes a big difference whether someone pretends to do so or it corresponds to the actual inner state of happiness. We see the difference!

Your first duty is to make yourself happy.
If you are happy, you make others happy too.

Ludwig A. Feuerbach


So it pays to take good care of yourself! And that goes very well with standing up for other people:

There is nothing that people come closer to the gods than when they make people happy.

Marcus Tullius Cicero


There are many ways to get there. If you stand up for something in a way that contributes to your own fulfillment, you enrich your own life and that of other people. The decisive factor for our own sense of happiness is how well we are able to adapt to changing living conditions and to master challenges.

Our attitude towards happiness has a major impact on how many happy moments we experience.




Practical factors influencing happiness


Is it all too much theory? Here are a few factors that have practical beneficial effects on happiness:

Everything that strengthens the impression of being able to shape life positively yourself

  • Harmonious and stable partnerships
  • Healthy exercise
    Exercise that is fun releases the euphoric hormones serotonin and endorphins.
  • Harmonious and stable friendships
    Fulfilling social relationships have a particularly great positive influence on human happiness.
  • Confident view of the future
  • A fulfilling job
  • curiosity
  • Self-confidence, self-esteem
  • Conducive beliefs
  • To be able to enjoy
    The appreciation of what has been achieved and a good pinch of variety let the senses indulge in abundance.
  • Beautiful moments
    Enjoy the here-and-now as the moment when life actually takes place.
  • Laugh
    Laughter works quickly and is even contagious. And unlike chocolate, it doesn't make you fat either.
  • anticipation
    Anticipation reduces stress hormones, strengthens the immune system, and domamin is produced.




Does money make you happy?


Does money make you happier? Yes and no! In fact, money increases general life satisfaction. However, the luck-enhancing effect of money decreases with every additional euro. Salary increases are also very relative. The lower the salary, the more enjoyable an increase tends to be.




Opponent of happiness


Here are the most common obstacles to happiness:


a. Victim attitude


The impression of being at the mercy of external circumstances. In such a sacrificial attitude, people no longer actively shape themselves, but suffer.



b. envy


Those who constantly compare themselves with others dig themselves deeper and deeper into envy and dissatisfaction. Kierkegaard said about this; "Comparing is the end of happiness and the beginning of dissatisfaction."

Happiness is not a competition. If, in the hunt for happiness, a comparative view of the lives of others is seen as an orientation, then it often goes wrong. Those who compare their situation with that of other people are more likely to be unhappy.



c. force


Discipline may be important. But under duress only sadomasochists can enjoy joy. Sometimes it takes the ability to self-motivate in particular.



d. Lack of gratitude


Those who do not appreciate what has been achieved will not be able to enjoy the future either. However, in some environments it is even considered inappropriate not to meet the expectations of being happy. As if someone who is not happy is ungrateful.




e. Missing values


Those who do not know their actual values ​​quickly get bogged down and look for happiness in the wrong places. The many promises quickly lure people on the wrong track and since they do not keep what they promise, frustration ensues. Money, prosperity and fame in particular hardly make the contribution that they promise so dazzlingly.




And now?


What do you do with those thoughts?